ARTICLES, HEALTHY LIVING & WELL BEING. EATING DISORDERS
Standing Alone is Better Than Standing With People Who Do Not Value You
Today, right now, is it better to like yourself than to be with people who may not like, respect, or appreciate you?
That may be a tough question to ask at a time when kids and parents alike are seeking connection in a world where masks limit smiles, connection, and distance. Fear and anxiety create havoc. It may also be a tough question to ask at a time when kids and their parents are dealing with issues like bullying, drugs, addiction, mental health/mental wellness issues, and much more. What does it take to build that connection inside of you; to like you, to be you, to learn to just be the ‘you’ that’s leading you right now and right here?
Imagine walking along an outdoor trail during the middle of a pitch-black night. The night is still; the silence is eerie. You are a few hundred feet from your campground. You have only a small flashlight to illuminate the path in front of you. Provided you know which way to go, it would be foolish to sit down and wait for the sun to rise—allowing you to see all the way to your campground—before continuing on your way. So long as you are moving in the right direction, it does not matter that you can only see a few feet in front of you. To get where you want to go, you only have to take one step at a time. Only you get to take each step. You get to stand for you.
Whether you are 10, 20, 30, or older, do not expect to understand everything that is required for you to see your path clearly in front of you. Just take the next step at whatever age you are. I recently heard a story about a 90-year-old man who decided to take French language lessons. When asked why he would do that at 90 years of age, he responded, “90 is the youngest age that I chose to do this”. He chose to stand alone to make his decision because this was the time to learn the French language.
Kids get excited to begin new things. Parents sometimes hesitate to be supportive of their children’s journey because they see the entire journey from their perspective only. Parents remember their own challenges as a kid and want to shield or block their child from experiencing what they did back then. Sometimes, parents are not certain what lane they need to walk in to like who they are, to support their kids, or better still to create a dream alongside their kids in challenging times. Sometimes they are bogged down in fear and anxiety, which really can take the fun out of liking yourself.
Do you have a dream? Have you noticed how people love to talk about their dreams? They come alive when they share their hopes for the future. However, a dream remains fanciful until you pursue it, in small ways, every day, in a routine you have set for yourself. The daily things you do determine whether your dreams come true.
Have the attitude that there is simply no space in your life to be around people that attempt to darken your light. You matter. Kids matter. Parents matter. The person you are is too precious, fragile, and important to allow anything otherwise. We are treated how we allow others to treat us. Do not tolerate anything less than being loved.
You are worth it.