One way to ruin a perfectly good, stable relationship is to compare your town to other ‘happy’ couples. No relationship is like another, and the comparison is a love killer. Still, many people believe myths about happy couples and then feel bad about their relationships because they feel they don’t measure up. Take a look at these six myths about happy couples, and maybe you’ll leave feeling better about your relationship.

Myth # 1: Happy couples see things the same way.

Wrong! Happy couples are still made up of two individuals, who have different life experiences, biases and opinions that colour their world. It’s okay to see things differently than your partner. There are some issues that you may find that you’ll never agree on.

Myth #2: Happy couples ooze romance – like in the movies.

Nope! In the early stages of a relationship, people may experience giddy, dizzying feelings of love – that’s called infatuation. It doesn’t last. Romantic love is a lot deeper emotionally and is what sustains the relationship. Romantic love is built on respect, trust and with a lot of hard work.

Myth #3: Happy couples have the same hobbies.

Having similar interests/hobbies as your significant other is a bonus –but not a must. There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you and your partner have separate hobbies. In fact, you can cause more harm to your relationship by trying to force yourselves to be interested in the same things.

Myth #4: Happy couples never fight.

Conflict and arguments are a given in ANY kind of relationship – but especially in romantic ones. The trick is to learn to fight right. Your arguments should not attack each other’s character or be destructive in any way. Healthy, respectful arguments can actually help a relationship to grow. Arguing can relieve your tension, as well as give you an assurance that you can express yourself in your relationship without fear of abandonment or humiliation.

Myth #5: Happy couples can freely vent.

It may feel good to blurt out whatever you are feeling in the heat of the moment – but those hurtful words can cause lasting damage to your relationship. Many relationships have ended over unforgivable things said during a rant. Choose your words carefully.

Myth #6: Happy couples know exactly how to make their relationships great.

Happy couples are figuring it out as they go, just like the rest of us! There is no be-all-and-end-all handbook to being in a relationship. Happy couples are always learning and working to make their relationship better. The most important thing is that you figure out what works for you!

Focus on your relationship and how you can make it work best for both of you! Each relationship is unique – with only this in common: They take work. Stop thinking that your relationship doesn’t measure up, and stop measuring your relationship against others.