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7 Things You Must Know Before Starting a New Relationship
Snippet: Ever felt like you are unable to sustain a meaningful relationship? It is not your fault. Read on to know what you need before getting into a relationship.
Relationships demand commitment and some degree of compromise. That is definite wisdom passed down the ages by people who have successfully managed to hold steady relationships. But in a world so stressful, there are endless things that can form a ridge between you and your partner.
Relationships go far deeper than the first impression.
Statistics suggest that men are 48% more likely to fall in love at first sight than just 28% of women. And though the love bug happens to bite men faster, there are things one needs to look into before getting into a relationship, irrespective of gender.
The dynamics of a relationship are so diverse, that it has now come down to a science. There are scientists all over the world trying to understand human psychology and the changes it undergoes when people confess to being in “love” with someone.
Even though there is science involved in this, there really is no formula to make a relationship work. There is, however, some basic logic to enhance bonding with your partner. Hence, we present to you some of the basic things you need to do, not during, but before you get into a serious relationship.
Here Are Things You Need To Do Before Getting Into a Lasting Relationship
Begin with you
It’s easy to have certain expectations from a partner. We want others to mould to our desires. From one’s interests to physical appearance, there happens to be a whole load of things people are “looking out” for. In fact, 53% of singles find a great smile to be the most attractive feature.
What we fail to look at is what are we offering to the relationship? How often do you find asking yourself, “am I really offering as much as I am expecting from this relationship?” Before getting into a relationship, make sure you are the best version of yourself. Before setting expectations, introspect whether you might be meeting your partner’s or not.
Make your life amazing for your partner
If you lead a boring life, how can you expect your partner to have fun? You need to get out of the rut and build a life you enjoy living. Be passionate about the things you love, and the excitement of your passion will rub off on your partner, too.
Over time, you will see that you and your partner begin synchronizing interests. It could be trying out Grape stomping, or running a readathon. These activities build stronger bonds between individuals, bringing them closer for longer. Having more memories to look back at helps retain the relationship when it goes through a rough time.
Past learnings create an avenue for a golden future
If you are going to repeat the same mistakes, your relationship is most likely to meet the same fate. Analyze your previous relationship and be honest about the parts where your habits were to be blamed.
It could be spending too much time at work, going out with friends too often, overconsumption of alcohol, smoking, spendthrift-ness etc. As a matter of fact, 88% women find money to be an important part of a relationship.
Fixing these issues before springing up those three magical words is important. Regulate your drinking habits, attain a sustainable work-life balance, quit smoking, and manage finances better. These micro-changes aid the longevity of a relationship and improve your own outlook towards a positive life.
Leave the past behind
You have to accept the fact that your partner had a life before you. There are things they did, and decisions made they thought were right at that moment. Their decisions do not define them.
Fighting generally is good. It means both the parties involved care about each other enough. A study by the Florida State University found that couples who had angry but honest conversations got way ahead with their relationship. But arguing over someone’s past (which cannot be unchanged) is futile and may hollow out the relationship faster than you realize. If you feel like the other person’s past may prick you in the long run, evade immediately and do not get into a commitment.
Learn from those around you
We idolize individuals around us all the time. Everyone wishes to be a leader like Steve Jobs, or a genius like Elon Musk. It may help us become better people. In a similar way, learning from couples around us also helps.
When you learn from successful couples around you, you realize that things can be worked out with healthy communication and a tad bit of compromise. Not absolute sacrifice, but mild compromise.
Check out some valuable TED Talks on relationships to cement your bonding better. Before you get into a relationship, make sure you have enough notes to proceed with, and then take an informed plunge into romance.
Cut some slack for yourself
Before you actually get into a relationship, you got to ask yourself if you are really ready for it, or are you getting into it because you are desperate. Answering this question is essential as you would have better clarity moving forward. Same holds true for marriage. Marriage may be important to many, but not their priority. 48% Americans believe the same.
More importantly, develop your skills and be the best version of you. While you are in a relationship, there are things you may have to miss out on, due to compromising. Being single is when you can do all what you want, just how you want.
A major part of relationships falling apart after a certain point of time is that people feel their respective partners have changed. That is not true. The actual thing is your perception of the other person has changed. What you once accepted is what you don’t like now.
Acceptance is the key to make relationships work. Once you accept the person for who they are, you automatically look at differences as situational. You blame the situation and not the partner, and that way, you both grow.
No matter how difficult it gets, if you have the fundamentals set right, your relationship stands unshakeable. These above pointers help you strengthen your decision and be well informed about what you are getting into.
A major reason for relationships falling apart is that people do not know what it takes to be ready for a relationship. So before you nod your head in affirmation, go through these points, and you will have better clarity.
Lynda Arbon is a passionate and enthusiastic health blogger. She likes keeping herself updated on health trends and blogs. Her favourite pastime is learning history and solving crossword puzzles. Follow her on Twitter.