The way you talk to yourself or think about yourself has a lot to do with your self-confidence, and how you project yourself to the world. If you allow a constant stream of negative internal dialogue it will only serve to bring you down.

Here are some exercises to focus your negative thoughts and shape them into more productive ones.


Pick a day to do these exercises. It should be just a normal day, where you don’t plan on experiencing anything drastic or abnormal. Then set yourself regular intervals to reflect on your thoughts towards yourself. Write them down. You can choose to do this every two hours or so, or you can write down your thoughts as they come to mind. This exercise will help you completely understand your daily internal dialogue. When you write down your thoughts, write down what you have thought about your:

  • Appearance
  • The work you’ve been doing
  • Intelligence
  • Competence
  • Skills and Talents
  • Worth


Picture yourself in a situation where you need to give an important presentation at work or school. There is a lot riding on this presentation and a lot of people will be there to watch. Now, imagine it’s the night before the presentation and you’re lying in bed thinking about it. What are you telling yourself?

Be honest. What kind of message would you be giving yourself? Write that down. Write down as much as you can of the conversation you would have with yourself.


Review the first two exercises. What does your writing tell you about your internal dialogue? Do you see a theme or common things between both? Write them down.

After that:

As you review what you wrote, consider this: How would you describe the overall tone of your internal dialogue? Are you more positive or pessimistic? If positive, are you being rational? Or, are you psyching yourself up without substance? Are there certain areas where you find yourself being more self-condemning? Circle examples in your writing of overly positive or negative thoughts.


Look over all you’ve written down. Then ask yourself this question: What kind of friend are you to yourself? If you were whispering everything you told yourself today into the ear of a friend, what kind of friend would you be?

When you are aware of the messages you are sending yourself throughout the day, you can take control of them and choose how to talk to yourself. Just like you wouldn’t constantly rag on a friend, you should also temper your thoughts towards yourself.

The mind is everything. What you think, you become.